I'm Still Here
by Destiny1029
Summary: Staring at her reflection, she couldn't find who she had been for the past 16 years of her life. The only one that could remind her, the only one who could help her light shine, can't even look her in the face.


D: Don't own Naruto

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I'm still here, I'll Always Be here.

By: Destiny1029

To be fair she didn't know the impact of what she was doing. To be fair she didn't know that as she was saving someone she was digging herself into a hole. To be fair, she was just doing her job.

Sakura floated down the street towards her newly built apartment on the corner of what used to be 5th and main. They hadn't exactly had the time to throw up street signs, they were more worried about getting the essentials of life such as food, shelter, water, clothing and protection. She wandered slowly up the stairs and opened her door uneasily. Her stomach turned and twisted, this still wasn't normal.

"It's been 6 months since the attack," Sakura said aloud as she walked into the darkness of her so-called apartment. 'Actually 6 months, 1 week and 2 days… but who's counting?' Sakura thought to herself.

Her new apartment was a ghost of what her house had been. The only pictures she had were the ones that she carried on missions. Her bed wasn't a bed, it was a mattress. She had one dresser and it was rather small… not that she needed much room for her things. There was no stove, just a microwave and no washing machines. She had guessed this is what it would have looked like if she had gone to university instead of becoming a ninja like her parents had wanted her to. Sakura frowned and collapsed on her "bed." She missed them, and the comfort they used to give her. She missed being a child.

Now Sakura had to deal with so much more. Not only did she have to deal with Shizune dying, one of her dearest and beloved friends, but she also had to take her role of lead medic nin and Tsunade's assistant. She was most nearly thrown into the role and expected to live her life as Shizune had right from the beginning. Her house had been obliterated in the attack and her parent's, deciding it was too unsafe to live in Konoha any longer, decided to move to a safer location. Sakura put up a fight and in the end was able to stay in Konoha. But this left her without a family, a home and any comforts she had once known. She was alone.

She looked at her petit dresser out of the corner of her eye and slightly smiled in spite of herself. She had once been very interested with how she looked and what clothes she wore. Now the only clothes she had were hospital scrubs, the civilian clothes she had been wearing on that faithful day, and clothes Temari had brought over just for her.

She smiled a little wider when she thought of Ino, she loved clothes more than Sakura ever had. She recalled what Ino said when Sakura had told her Temari had brought clothes over for Sakura.

"That sand woman brought clothes over for you and not me? It's because she likes Shikamaru isn't it? HA! She sees me as a threat, like I'd fall for that lazy ass hole!"

It was good to be able to smile once in a while; she had Ino to thank for that. If it hadn't been for her long time best friend, she would have been lost. Her normal ray of sunshine was now a rain cloud.

Naruto had been recluse for the first several months. He blamed himself over and over again for the destruction of Konoha. Sakura and he had talked and found out that Sasuke was a part of the Akatsuki, a member of those who had attempted to destroy their city. Naruto sunk into a deep depression. How were you supposed to win in this situation? This wasn't a fairy tale.

Her grin quickly turned into a twisted form, as if her lips were writhing in pain. Sasuke left her, and now Naruto... She heard her phone rang and she stood up uneasily walking towards the table.

"Hello?"

"Hey ya forehead!"

Ino always seemed to call at the right times. "Hey pig what's up with you?"

"Just wondering what's going on tonight. Wanna go to the bar? They finally got it back up and I know that you're not having the best week, I totally looked at your OR schedule from today… how did you not kill yourself?"

"At least it was something new and interesting, right?"

"Right, ha I guess you could say that, anyway you and I are off tonight and tomorrow morning something I thought Tsunade-sempai would never do again after YOUR birthday."

Sakura smiled, "Yea, well, seeing me sing up on stage will certainly give other's something to be thankful for. Maybe she's doing this to give others good spirits."

Ino laughed, "Yea, I'm sure other's haven't forgotten that, maybe they'll be able to see you dance tonight, you've had a rough couple of nights and I don't think you've drank since then anyway, you need some unwinding time. You took care of my drunk ass last week."

Sakura smiled, yes. She did. "I'm not feeling that well Ino. I think I'll just end up as a depressed drunk tonight, and we know where that goes."

Ino sighed audibly behind the phone," Oh come on Sakura. We've got a party. I'll get my boys to come, grab some of the others, I know for a fact Ten Ten has been dying for a reason to get shit faced. Sakura, you need this right now, you can't lock you're self in this crappy apartment building."

Sakura took a moment before answering. She knew she worried her friend. It was just so hard to watch full teams sitting in front of her cheering and having fun while one of her team mates was plotting another plan to do in Konoha and the other couldn't even_ look_ at her in the face. "I'm fine Ino, I really just want to sleep this off. I'll call you tomorrow and we can grab lunch," Sakura tried.

Ino sighed again, "Fine, you're lame again, but I'll see you tomorrow and hopefully I'll have some stories."

"Bye Ino, thanks anyway." Sakura hung up the phone and walked over to her bed, falling on it once more. Her head sunk into her pillow and her eyes concentrated on the wall closest to her bed. When Ino said she was going to invite the others did that include Naruto? Did that include Hinata?

Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes tightly in pain. Her thoughts led her to a place where she'd rather not be. She screamed into her pillow and hugged her knees to her stomach.

"I'm so dumb," Sakura whispered as her eyes fluttered up and down. She just wanted to sleep and forget everything that had happened over the last 6 months. How did things get this bad this fast? How did she lose nearly everything that was important to her? She'd like to say things couldn't get any worse, but that's what she had said when Sasuke left and now things were in absolute shambles.

She was the one that ran over to her bleeding body and healed her, by herself. She was the one that Hinata had told that she had told Naruto she was in love with him. She was the one that nearly missed her IV site when Hinata had told her the "exciting news." She was the one that saved her and brought her back from the dead.

"_I told him."_

_Him?_

"_I told him I loved him. I told Naruto I loved him. That's the reason I want to live, because I have found someone who I love, and who lifts me," Sakura fumbled with the IV needle, nearly sticking it very proximal to the intended site. "Sakura, please. Please tell me he's ok?"_

_Sakura's head was spinning. Loved? Wait… Where was he? Where was he? He was… _

"_Naruto," Sakura whispered as her head whipped to the center of the crater, trying to find any sign of him._

_Later that week, after all of the mayhem had slightly subsided Sakura stood next to her teammate, clipboard in hand._

"_So," Naruto looked awkwardly out the window, he looked ridiculous, like a mummy, "Hinata said she loved me."_

_Sakura stopped for a moment, her breath was stuck , she felt like she couldn't breath. She couldn't fucking breath. "I heard," she finally said, her heart feeling heavy and her arms feeling weak._

_There was a deafening silence between the two._

After this it had just become awkward. They would see each other and suddenly have nothing to talk about. They would resort to remarks about the weather. _**The weather.**_

Sakura was not happy with this, in fact she was miserable. She just wanted to talk to him again like old times. She wanted to seek comfort in his arms. She wanted him so bad to be in her life again. She needed him in her life again.

But whenever she saw Hinata and him together they would be talking and smiling and having a beautiful time. When Sakura would go out for groceries or training she would see them making their way to the ramen bar or towards the park. It was as though Hinata had taken her place.

She stood up for a moment and looked into the mirror above her dresser. "Why the hell do you care?" She told her reflection, "You had your chance, and Hinata, she's loved him forever! I mean it's not like you, ok maybe you did love him, and maybe you did ruin everything that was good in your life. Maybe now it is going to suck because, YOU KNOW WHAT?! Now he won't even fucking look at me!" Sakura spat, she looked long and hard at her tired and angered reflection.

Her face fell and she wept. "I want my mom," she cried as she sat down on her mattress, "I want my dad, why does this suck? What am I supposed to do?" Sakura questioned herself as her body convulsed with sobs. "And who the hell is supposed to help me with this, when the one person that I thought was going to be here forever, can't even look me in the face?!" She couldn't even control herself anymore. She cried and cried over her hospital scrubs.

She had thought about awful things, horrible things. She had thought about if she hadn't healed Hinata she would be happy right now, she would have her sunshine, and they would be together. And then her stomach would lurch and her head would spin, she felt guilt and depression seep out of her. That wasn't her, she wasn't mean or evil, so why was it now that she was seeing the darkest side of herself? Why did that thought even pop up? When did she become such a horrible person…

She laid her back down in her bed once more, her running eyes looked up at the ceiling, and her fists were clenched around the blanket. As she tried to get a hold of herself she heard clicks and clatters above her head. She sat up with some speed, wiping her eyes and looking around the apartment for the sound's origin.

Great. Now she was going crazy.

Unless... Sakura turned around and sure enough a rock hit itself against the window. She wiped her eyes and crawled across her bed towards the transparent glass. She was about to open it when a rock flew up and broke through the window.

"Shit," Sakura heard a once familiar voice curse outside.

"Naruto?" She whispered to herself as she threw the window open to find the blond boy. And there he was. He was standing under her window, his blues eyes peering up at her, and his hands full of rocks.

They looked at each other for a moment in silence. Sakura felt goose bumps arise on her arms and her eyes began to tear up again.

"Is that really you?"

"That's a silly question. Who else where's this orange," he countered with a grin.

"No, it's really not a silly question at all." Sakura said bluntly, anger now filling her where surprise once stood.

"Sakura-chan, I, I wanted to… are you still… Sorry about the window."

"You're paying for it," She told him while looking up at the small hole.

"Are you ok?" Naruto stammered through his questions, wanting answers, wanting reassurance, and instead he settled on the most vague.

Sakura bit her lip, was it obvious she had been crying? I guess the puffy eyes that had worn their way through a half an hour of crying were hard to miss.

"I'm fine." She lied.

"That's not what Ino said, and she's pretty smart." Naruto countered, still looking up at her.

"Ino worries too much," Sakura told him again, "is that the only thing that brings you here? Ino told you to come."

"No, I was on my way here when I ran into her at the bar, I swear," He told her. His eyes wondered and his hands and arms were antsy as he scratched the back of his head.

"Then why are you here?"

"I just needed to know something."

"This isn't getting you anywhere. What are you doing here?"

"I needed to know you didn't hate me." Naruto yelled out to her.

Sakura's eyes widened and she wasn't breathing again. She slammed the window shut and walked away from that corner of the room.

Naruto stood outside, his confidence failing and his heart sinking. Tears began to weld up in his eyes and finally defeat began to sink in. He had never accepted defeat, he had never completely come face to face with it.

His hands felt numb as he dumped the rocks down onto the ground. He would have began his long, silent trip home had he not been hit in the back of the head by a rock.

"OW!" He yelped as he massaged his head. He turned around to see the pink hair girl standing 10 ft away from him.

"HATE YOU?" she screeched, as she threw another rock at the man. "Hate you? If by hate you mean I hated having you ignore me!" Throw. "Hated knowing that I couldn't have you by my side!" Throw. "HATED THAT I, _AGAIN_, LOST SOMEONE THAT I LOVED?!" Her hands felt weak and she released the rocks from her death grip, "Yea, then I _guess_ I hated you."

Naruto looked at her blankly. His eyes looking at her broken down state and the tears he had caused. "I'm sorry," he began, "I just, I couldn't, you should hate me."

"You're an idiot! Naruto, if anything, all I wanted was you these past six months, all I wanted was for you to cheer me up. Shizune's DEAD, I'M IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL EVERYDAY WATCHING OUR FRIENDS GET MUTILATED, AND MY MOM AND DAD LEFT ME BY MYSELF, ALONE. And instead of making me smile and instead of holding my hand and carrying me through this I get a 'weather looks like crap today,' what the hell?" Naruto flinched.

"Sakura you're looking at this wrong."

"I'M LOOKING AT THIS WRONG?" Sakura screeched again. "WHO AM I TO YOU!?" She yelled.

Naruto looked at her in astonishment, "Sakura-chan, the reason I thought you hated me is I thought you blamed me for everything. And honestly, I've been blaming myself for everything, I blamed myself for Shizune's death, for the destruction of Konoha. Sakura, you know who you are to me, why would you ask that? All I've wanted to do is be with you."

Sakura looked at him, examining him, his face looking at her with some sort of want, some sort of need. Her shoulders relaxed, and she began to sob once more, her fists clenched in resilience. "I thought I had lost you, I felt like someone had taken my spot beside you."

Naruto searched her face, her eyes shut tight in shame and tears cascading down her thin cheek bones and her frowning lips. His heart collapsed and he walked towards her cautiously and hugged her, her head falling on his chest, "I really needed you."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I'm so sorry."

"You're an idiot." She muttered into his chest.

Naruto hugged her tighter. "I always have been. But you're a pretty big idiot as well, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one." He whispered stroking her pink hair in comfort, "How could anyone replace my Sakura-chan?"

"I missed you Naruto, I missed you so much." At this Naruto slowly let her go, holding her arm's length away from himself, he searched her face again, waiting for her eyes to open. She sighed and opened her eyes with a weak smile tracing it's way across her lips.

"I'm going to make you a promise of a life time."

"Another one," she tried to joke, only for it to come out as a sputter "aren't you going to be tied to too many strings?

"Yea, but I always thought I was going to do this anyway," He said with a grin.

"Yea?" She sniffed.

"Yea," he paused for a moment, "I promise that I will always be at your side, and always here for you no matter what, that is my promise of a life time."

Sakura looked up at him, staring into his bright blue eyes, sincerity and care flowing out of him. She rose her hands to his and held them below her waist. "That's all I want, that's all I will ever want."

Naruto smiled and squeezed her hands. He didn't think he could be any happier than he was at this time. Sakura looked at him, she was searching his face this time.

"What?" Naruto asked, not understanding.

"Is that it?" Sakura asked stupidly.

"Is what it?"

"This."

"This?"

"Yes. This. US."

Naruto looked at her as though he were hit by a brick, "oh! Us…US… well, I mean… you and I… yea. I'd like that."

"Something else..." Sakura almost whispered, her eyes looking down at her toes, and her hands wringing, and nervous. Her face looked as though she had been defeated, or maybe it was her anxiety catching up.

"Something else…" Naruto repeated his face looking puzzled. "I'm sorry, I don't know. I told you that I'm…"

Sakura rose up on her tip toes and kissed the boy on his lips. "an idiot, yea. I missed you Naruto, and I want to stay by your side as well."

Naruto stood there, looking down at her shocked, a smile curling upwards and his teeth were so bright, and his grin so beautiful. "That's the only thing I've ever wanted my whole life."

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D: baha. I've been working on this for a while. I like it, if you don't well, I mean, I guess it's legit… ANYWAY, Yeaaaa it's been a while since I was able to write something I liked. And I totally liked it. Soo here this is. So much love and Happy Easter! Some good ole cheesiness thrown at you! That's Destiny's love stories for ya.


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